Penis size: The secrets that women just won't tell you - what they really think about penis size!

When the boys have their girlfriends (that's friends as in platonic, not sexual partners) round for a few glasses of wine, what better topic of conversation could there be than penis size and whether or not it really makes a difference?

(All these photos - and thousands more - can be found on Images of Size - a website about penis size. Click here to see it.)

Well, maybe many, but curiosity led me to ask them anyway: three sexually experienced women, who'd had enough sex with enough men to know what they were talking about when it comes to the crunch. So, after a couple of glasses, I recklessly asked them: "Does the size of a man's cock make any difference to you in bed?" And what did I expect to hear? No doubt the old line - "No, it's what you do with it that counts....."

Unfortunately, that was not what we heard. The first, a mature woman of thirty five, looked us straight in the eyes and declared that yes, it certainly did make a difference: the larger the penis, she said, the more powerful the experience. The second, a woman of twenty nine with few inhibitions, told us she'd had a man with a four inch penis and a man with a nine inch penis, and as far as she was concerned, there was no contest: the larger man won hands down in her bed. The third, a younger woman in her early twenties - but no slouch on the sexual front for all that - cast her eyes at the floor and giggled before saying that if it came to a choice she'd definitely prefer a thick cock to a long one.

Oh ho. Bad news for us men, I think. And further investigation was needed. Just how did a bigger penis win over a smaller one? The answer which emerged was this: that when it comes to sex, for a woman, a larger penis provides more feeling. This is especially true, one of the women added, when she is extremely wet and lubricated.

One of our friends went on to explain in more detail. This, she said, is about the physical aspect of sex - the feeling of fullness that a woman perceives to be pleasurable when she's fucked by her partner. It's about the stretching of the vagina in the first two or three inches by a penis of sufficient girth to open her out. Now, in defense of men, at this point she conceded that a woman whose vagina was loose had either not being doing her Kegel exercises to tone up the muscles or had had a terrible experience with childbirth.

But I was still puzzled. The vagina is a virtual space - one that is created when a penis pushes its way in. So how then could a thick penile shaft feel better? Doesn't the vagina open up to accommodate any size of man? The girls put their heads together and came up with the explanation that it was about stimulation - being stretched provided more stimulation, more of a thrill when their man entered them, and - at least for one of them - a frisson of mental excitement, the pure sexual thrill of being impaled on a huge penis.

Now, this was all very well, but it left a few questions unanswered. Top of my list was a query about the G spot. We all know it's only a couple of inches inside a woman's vagina, and it's not very big, so surely a penis of any size can stimulate it as the coronal ridge of the man's penis moves back and forth over the G spot during thrusting?

I have, I must admit, a very average sized penis. But my partner goes into ecstasy when I make love to her with my foreskin gliding back and forth over her G spot. This is not about the physical pleasure of feeling stretched by a big dick - it's about a refinement of technique that leads to immense sexual pleasure. She swears that G spot stimulation is much better for her than the mere pleasure of feeling filled to the limit.....and maybe this is the other part of the equation: the "it's what you do with it" part of the old saying about penis size.

When I checked this out with my current partner (after I'd explained why I was talking about the size of penises to a group of women) she added more clarity to the whole matter. Sex can be a purely physical experience for a woman, just as it can be for a man, but when it is, the lack of emotional connection (love or trust, if you like) means that the physical sensations will be much more important.

But when a woman's in bed with a man she loves, trusts or respects, then things are different. Suddenly, the size of his penis is only one of many more important aspects of lovemaking. The fact that she is letting a man she likes into her body, the fact that he is being caring and tender, or raunchy and sexual, with her, the fact that she has turned him on, the fact that she feels special to him, the fact that she loves him (and maybe he loves her), adds a whole new dimension to lovemaking which centers on the emotional and spiritual connection between the two people, not just the physical sensations of sex. And this is true whether a woman comes during intercourse or not: for her, the act of giving her body to the man she loves can be far more important than the physical sensations of sex or reaching orgasm - and in any event, very few women reach orgasm through intercourse anyway - a fact which is inconvenient but which you can do something about - see http://www.women-come-first.com where you will find an online program to explain how a woman can enjoy orgasm during sexual intercourse.)

And that makes perfect sense to me. It explains why women will always argue about whether penis size is important, it means that what you do with your penis in a vagina really is more important than how big it is, and it means that men who are less than well-endowed need not fear humiliation when they are with a woman who loves them. When a woman chooses to go to bed with a man because she likes him, his penis is sexually exciting to her whatever its size, just because it is a part of him. That's the beginning, middle, and almost the end of the story. If he wants an orgasm, she has a vagina in which he can come most delightfully and satisfyingly; if she wants an orgasm, well, he has has a tongue and fingers, and she has a clitoris waiting for attention.

But.....there's more. If it is true that women don't really care, then why is size such an issue? Hmm...must be something to do with men, I guess. After all, they're the other ones around when sex happens. Look at it this way: the fear that a man has when he gets into bed with a woman for the first time is that she will find his erect penis inadequate and presumably laugh at its size. But does this ever happen? No. In any case, she's obsessed with the shape of her pussy lips or the size of her breasts. So there's the clue - this penis size thing must be a male issue. That's what gives this issue its potency and its hold over us.

Information for men who suffer from delayed ejaculation: this is a worrying problem where you find that you cannot ejaculate during sex - and sometimes even during masturbation, unless the stimulation is very hard and prolonged. Men in this position may well find that intercourse proceeds for so long that their partners become sore and frustrated, and often blame themselves for not being attractive enough to arouse their male partner! Nothing could be further from the truth - though there may be relationship issues which contribute to delayed ejaculation, in general it is caused by the man not being sensitive enough to the stimulation which his penis is receiving during sex. (Delayed ejaculation has been called retarded ejaculation, an unpleasant name which is still in use today, unfortunately.) However, the great news is that there is an effective self-help formula which you can use to stop delayed ejaculation and learn to ejaculate within a normal time frame during sex - certainly less than ten minutes, although the objective will always be to give the man who is suffering from delayed ejaculation complete control over the timing of his orgasm. You can follow the text connection above for more information on the subject and how to cure it.

If you're a man who suffers from erection problems - another male sexual dysfunction, along with premature ejaculation and delayed ejaculation - then End Erectile Dysfunction Now! may be exactly what you need to solve your problems in getting and maintaining an erection. If you find that you can't get an erection during sex, or you lose your erection from time to time, then this is the ideal answer for these erection problems: a self-treatment program with guaranteed results - no matter how long you've been experiencing erectile dysfunction this will get your erection back! This extremely effective treatment for erectile dysfunction is available to all men.

The opposite problem, of course, is premature ejaculation, and this can be just as problematic to cure. Although men suffering from delayed ejaculation might wish they had the issue of ejaculating too quickly, and men with premature ejaculation might wish they could last a lot longer, the truth is that both these problems are potentially just as frustrating and embarrassing for men who are in sexual relationships. If you have a case of rapid ejaculation, and you want to learn how to have adequate levels of ejaculatory control that will allow you to stop premature ejaculation, the program you can find in the top of the right hand column of this page is the best way to learn how to last longer in bed.

And for women, the most common sexual problem tends to be inability to reach orgasm during masturbation or sex. Even in these liberated times, when sex has become something which is discussed regularly in all kinds of places, the personal inhibitions which prevent women from reaching orgasm during intercourse can be just as pronounced. On a personal level, of course it doesn't matter how much discussion of "freeing the female orgasm" one sees around the place; if you are not able to achieve an orgasm during sex, then you will feel sexually inadequate and possibly have a low self-esteem. Once again, as with the male sexual dysfunctions listed above, the problem can be largely helped with a self-help program carefully tailored to help women with a problem in reaching orgasm.

And what if all of this is no help? Can there be another strategy - one that allows men to ejaculate as and when they are able or have to, rather than when they choose to? Having that degree of choice over ejaculation is actually challenging, and we know that most women reach orgasm through clitoral stimulation rather than vaginal intercourse. So, it may be that a sexual plan which accommodates both of these situation is the right answer! Men who know how to give great pleasure to a woman in bed tend to be lovers who are in demand! and who have a very satisfying sex life themselves.